There Are Some Good Days Too!!
Having your belief systems shook up every once in awhile is not a bad thing. It has given me a chance to deepen my core beliefs. It makes me stronger as a person. Geez, I just said that. . . I just said the phrase I have always hated. I am writing today on a 'good day'. Yes, there are plenty of good days although it seems I only write when things are getting me down. This period of time that I am going through right now is an interesting time. It goes beyond affirmations and 'positive thinking'. It is a crossroads where I can either stand up and grow up or sink into 'Loserville'. Every day, whether you have cancer or not, we can make the choices that make up the depth of a person. Are some days hard? Yes, but guess what? LIFE is hard sometimes. Big deal. Someone please knock me off the pity pot. You guys have all been very patient with me- and I thank you - but it's time for me to get over myself.
Writing is part of the healing process for me. My cousin and I were not close, in fact, we hadn't seen each other in over 20 years. I spoke with her when I was diagnosed about the genetic testing and we kept in touch briefly after that. But, somewhere I felt this 'sisterhood' between us because the cancer and of the gene defect. Just as a person in general, I was pulling for her, wanting her to make it- defy the odds somehow. I think I wanted her to do it so I could be reassured that the same wouldn't happen to me. Silently when I was praying for her, I was praying for me too. My grief in her passing was not necessarily because I 'lost' someone in my life, but because it messed with my own issues around dying. But, if recurrence IS in my future, I have a lot to do before then. I have gotten a second chance- I am choosing not to waste it.
Writing is part of the healing process for me. My cousin and I were not close, in fact, we hadn't seen each other in over 20 years. I spoke with her when I was diagnosed about the genetic testing and we kept in touch briefly after that. But, somewhere I felt this 'sisterhood' between us because the cancer and of the gene defect. Just as a person in general, I was pulling for her, wanting her to make it- defy the odds somehow. I think I wanted her to do it so I could be reassured that the same wouldn't happen to me. Silently when I was praying for her, I was praying for me too. My grief in her passing was not necessarily because I 'lost' someone in my life, but because it messed with my own issues around dying. But, if recurrence IS in my future, I have a lot to do before then. I have gotten a second chance- I am choosing not to waste it.
Posted by Angellah at 3/16/2009 7:45 PM 
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: feeling good depression post cancer
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: feeling good depression post cancer
yeah for good days !
Love you
Gina
PS I keep thinking about Marylin and Laura, yes it is a coincidence with your circumstance, but you each treated this affliction differently, therefore changing the outcome greatly. So with this particular situation, NO REOCCURANCE AND NO DYING. And on the days that the thoughts get the better of you that is when God and your friends and family will hold strong and stay positive for you.
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