Monday was  my birthday. It was a good day.  It’s not a ‘big’ birthday- I’m just turning 27- I mean 37. (Geez, I’m pushing 40!) I don’t do big celebrations on my birthday.  I like to do what I want, whatever that may be at that time in my life.  This year, it happened to be exercising and spending time with my husband, just enjoying life- enjoying each other. The older I get the more I feel like celebrating my mom on my birthday.   After all, she was the one that brought me into the world.  At least that’s how I felt when my daughter turned 16 last week. Of course we celebrated her being ‘sweet 16’ but in my own way, I celebrated myself for bringing such a gift to the world. I can’t help it- I think she’s amazing, even in all of her teenage drama.

It’s hard to believe  6 months ago I was smack in the middle of chemotherapy.  I expected to have more energy back by now. My joints are achy, my muscles are tired- I’m tired.  I suppose all of this cancer business has taken it’s toll. I have to chuckle at my naiveté.  I expected to feel bad when I was going through chemo. I wasn’t expecting it to last so long.  On the brighter side of things -  I finally have some head coverage ! It’s actually pretty nice for the Arizona heat.  I said my final good bye to my wig and stored it away with my scarves hoping to never have to wear them again. 

On the morning of my birthday I had a dream right before I woke up about working for the American Embassy all over the world consulting on stress management. It was such a great dream.  After I woke up a little voice in my head said “ If you can dream it, you can do it.” And then I retorted  “ Yeah, but I don’t even know where to start.” And the voice came back and said ‘Bullshit. You know exactly what to do.’  And you know what? It’s true.  I don’t believe in ‘wrong’ decisions because I think everything leads you to the exact path you need to go.  So worst case scenario, I do something that gets shut down.  So what?
 
The real birthday gift to myself was taking a step in the general direction of making this come true. I figure even if I’m at half way point in my life – I’ve got another 37 years.  That’s a lot of time to fulfill a lot of dreams. 

                                          

PS. As a way of celebrating my birthday week I am offering my “ Tough Girl” tank tops at cost. ( $15.00 per shirt including shipping)  The logo reads
“Get Your ‘Tough Girl’ On!” with a black and white picture of the Inner Tough Girl logo.  They are screen printed with pink letters – all from the Gap. I only have a few left  ( small, medium and large available) so if you or someone you know needs a reminder to ‘stay tough’  let me know .  You can pay by PayPal or send a check or money.